The Mature Adult

The Mature (Secure) Adult is described the Psychologist Oliver James, as follows:

If you are this type it is relatively easy for you to become emotionally close to others. You are comfortable depending upon others and being depended upon by them, and don’t worry greatly about being alone or having others not accept us.

Adult romantic partners tend to be secure. When set a problem to solve with their partner, secure men are positive and supportive, trying to help rather than acting as a competitor or getting annoyed. Secure women are likely to seek emotional support from their man and to be happy to receive embraces or other physical expressions of affection and encouragement.

Secure couples have the least negative relationships of any combination of patterns – less critical, less conflict-ridden, more warm and friendly. The most common causes of rancour, like the man not spending enough time with the woman or disputes over the division of domestic labour, are less likely to be a problem. Followed over time, their relationships last longer and, if they include marriage, are less likely to end in divorce.

Such a paragon is the result of a Secure Attachment to fellow beings, with no Personality Disorder (not “socialised” in early months) and a Benign Conscience (not”socialised” in the years 3 to 6).

About 50% of Adults in Civilised Societies are “Secure” — the rest are criminals, comedians and politicians — even Prime Ministers

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