Monthly Archives: February 2019

The Mature Adult

The Mature (Secure) Adult is described the Psychologist Oliver James, as follows:

If you are this type it is relatively easy for you to become emotionally close to others. You are comfortable depending upon others and being depended upon by them, and don’t worry greatly about being alone or having others not accept us.

Adult romantic partners tend to be secure. When set a problem to solve with their partner, secure men are positive and supportive, trying to help rather than acting as a competitor or getting annoyed. Secure women are likely to seek emotional support from their man and to be happy to receive embraces or other physical expressions of affection and encouragement.

Secure couples have the least negative relationships of any combination of patterns – less critical, less conflict-ridden, more warm and friendly. The most common causes of rancour, like the man not spending enough time with the woman or disputes over the division of domestic labour, are less likely to be a problem. Followed over time, their relationships last longer and, if they include marriage, are less likely to end in divorce.

Such a paragon is the result of a Secure Attachment to fellow beings, with no Personality Disorder (not “socialised” in early months) and a Benign Conscience (not”socialised” in the years 3 to 6).

About 50% of Adults in Civilised Societies are “Secure” — the rest are criminals, comedians and politicians — even Prime Ministers

Gender Issues

As a conventional Male I find the following very disturbing — But, is this the reality of Human Nature?

Gender Issue

From — Ref 643

“The idea of a unified ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ personality turns out not to describe real people — It describes stereotypes to which we constantly compare ourselves and each other, but more people are ‘gender non-conforming’ than we generally realize.”

Environmental influences such as prenatal or early-life stress can feed back into this process, again altering how the brain develops.

And — Ref 646 –Gender begins with the assignment of our sex – However, a person’s gender is the complex interrelationship between three dimensions:
• Body: our body, our experience of our own body, how society genders bodies, and how others interact with us based on our body.
• Identity: our deeply held, internal sense of self as male, female, a blend of both, or neither; who we internally know ourselves to be.
• Expression: how we present our gender in the world and how society, culture, community, and family perceive, interact with, and try to shape our gender.

Gender expression is also related to gender roles and how society uses those roles to try to enforce conformity to current gender norms.
• Expression: how we present our gender in the world and how society, culture, community, and family perceive, interact with, and try to shape our gender.

Each of these dimensions can vary greatly across a range of possibilities. A person’s comfort in their gender is related to the degree to which these three dimensions feel in harmony!

Take Gender and Sexual Orientation: Gender and sexual orientation are two distinct aspects of our identity. Gender is personal (how we see ourselves), while sexual orientation is interpersonal (who we are physically, emotionally and/or romantically attracted to) — Ref 646

End — Ref 643: